Pro-Soup Propaganda

In Honor of Matty Pantalones

One year ago today I got a phone call (while I had friends over for dinner) from my friend Jessica that our friend Matt had committed suicide.

He had been depressed ever since I'd known him. Sometimes he handled it well and sometimes he didn't. We lived a five minute walk away from each other and we hung out all the time. Matt would take me fishing, hiking, camping, and skiffing. We would call each other when we had to run errands because it is always more fun to run errands with someone else! (It usually involved a mocha.)

Usually we talked every single day, but when he was having a depressed episode I would never hear from him, often for a couple weeks. I'd leave baked goodies and food on his doorstep. He never said thank you for it, but I knew he appreciated that I didn't give up on him. He took it really hard when I told him I was moving to Portland. He started ignoring me and, of course, that was really hard on me because he was one of my best friends! He didn't always have the best coping skills and I knew it was really hard on him that one of his good friends was leaving.

Matt came to Portland just a couple weeks before he committed suicide and it was one of the few times I had seen him since I moved. He was just as silly as ever, trying on my jacket and picking me up and swinging me around.

We used to try and battle rap each other. Matt was really good at busting out rhymes and could make up lyrics about anything. He was a great musician, usually in a few different bands. I used to go to his house late and night and get on the drums while he was on guitar and we'd make up songs in his kitchen. He had turntables in his living room and he'd DJ for me. We loved the Beastie Boys and hip hop and were usually blasting it when we drove around in his crappy Toyota truck.

I think of Matt every single day and I miss him so much. He was such a good friend and a good person and had so much to offer.

He gave Artoo two of his names (MetalEdge GypsyTears) and was a very good doggie uncle.

We played kickball together. We went to plays, shows, and parties together.

I went up to Ketchikan last year for Matt's memorial and a TON of people came. It was huge. We had gigantic pallet fires on the beach and lit off fireworks. It was amazing and touching. Matt's life touched a lot of people and he is loved by many.

Matty Pantalones, I think of you every day and I miss you tons.

Love always,
Brittanica Flannica

P.S. You always were, and still are, the biggest poopface loser.

P.P.S. If anyone reads this who knew Matt, I'd love if you left a comment about him or told a story. He was loved by SO many people!